Happiness: The Magic 3

‘Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life.’

~ Mandy Hale

When I have more money, I’ll be happy.

When the kids are older, I’ll be happy.

When I retire, I’ll be happy.

When I complete my diploma, I’ll be happy.

When I find true love, I’ll be happy.

When When When!!

Does this sound like a familiar mantra?

By stating ‘when’ certain things happen you will be happy, you are basically placing a finish line on your happiness, the magic line that forever seems to elude us. In other words, happiness is a destination point. What if we changed our mantra from ‘when’ to ‘now’? Suddenly that finish line is closer than you think, in fact the line disappears altogether and your happiness becomes instant. Why in an age of increasing abundance is the human race becoming increasingly unhappy? I feel the answer is not that people are becoming increasingly unhappy but that people are becoming misaligned with what they perceive happiness to be.

If I said I could give you the key to your happiness right now, would that take the pressure off having to work for it? Could you breathe a sigh of relief knowing you no longer have to reach for that elusive end point? I truly believe that happiness is an internal process and you are the only one that gets to activate it. It is not determined by how many dollars are in the bank, your position at work or how many friends you have. It solely depends on you. Is that not liberating? More often than not it is not liberating as we discover it actually requires some effort on our part initially.

Let’s talk about this in terms of three classic movies – Lord of the Rings, Star Wars and The Wizard of Oz. Collectively they have three things in common:

• A journey
• A roadblock
• A happy outcome

The journey component in each of these movies is much like our own journey with happiness. We go along our merry way striving for this intangible thing called happiness, we inch closer and closer and then bam! Something gets in our way. I feel this is summed up nicely in a scene from Lord of The Rings – The Fellowship of The Ring, where Gandalf the Grey is met with a Balrog and with much force says “You shall not pass”.

The Lord of the Rings – You Shall Not Pass – (HD)

The only word that comes to mind when this happens in our own life is the ‘F’ word. Fear. It hovers about and prevents us from continuing our journey. It stands in our way like the Balrog. It takes all our inner strength to say ‘You shall not pass’. Fear does not get to come along, it doesn’t get a say and it sure as hell does not determine the outcome. So how do we achieve happiness while fear takes a back seat? Intention and Choice. Plan for it and do it. Here’s how:   

• Choose every day – Some days it is bloody hard work and other days it is slapping you right in the face as you wake up, but it’s there available, every single day so don’t ignore it, embrace it and make it a non-negotiable. Do something, however big or small, every day that activates it.
• Choose your tribe – Frodo, Luke and Dorothy had a tribe that loved and supported them on their journey. They picked them up when they stumbled or lost their way. There is a quote that says ‘Your vibe attracts you tribe’. So make sure you are sending out the right vibes to attract the right people. For goodness sake do not invite the energy suckers along for the ride.
• Choose your path – whether it’s a rocky, dusty trail, an intergalactic highway or a yellow brick road, you’re the one who gets to walk it because in the end you know it gets you to where you want to go.

The key word here is ‘Choose’. Happiness is ultimately a choice we make every day. Are there any pre-requisites or tools required? Well, let’s see:

• Frodo had a Ring
• Dorothy had Ruby Slippers
• Luke had the Force

While each of these assisted in reaching the ultimate goal, the greatest of the three is not a ring or a pair of ruby slippers but the intangible force. You already internally possess the key to your happiness:

A Backbone – to stand in the face of fear and give you strength to overcome all the ‘balrogs’ you encounter along the way.

A Heart – for compassion. With everything in life approach it with kindness and compassion, what you put out you get back, it really is that simple, and it often comes back in bucket loads when you need it most.

A Voice – to speak your truth, share your gratitude and ultimately be the voice of reason for yourself and other people. There is ample research on the practice of gratitude – by expressing it on a daily basis it forces you to look for the good in every day and by expressing it to other people you ultimately contribute to their happiness also.

You see…..there is no need for me to give you the key to your happiness….you have had it all along.

Choose or choose not, there is no try.

The force is already with you.

Lx