Why Meditate?

The goal of meditation isn’t to control your thoughts, it’s to stop letting them control you.

~Anon

When I became a mum, my life went from free and easy to a whirlwind of stress, worry and self-doubt about my ability to raise happy healthy children. My mind and body were functioning on different levels. No amount of talking to people or reading parenting books was easing the anxiety until my brother in law suggested I go along to a weekly meditation class he was running, and I am so grateful to him for that, because it was a life changer.

Like many other people, I initially found it frustrating. Unwelcome thoughts would appear, and any sudden noise would send my ‘Zen like’ state into turmoil. However, each week it got easier. My mind and body were BFFs again and I was a much more pleasant person to be around. I witnessed firsthand the phenomenal benefits meditation was having across all areas of my life which is why I decided to study it further and educate people about it myself.

Stress and Meditation

In order to understand why meditation is one of the most effective ways to promote health and wellness and why it is essential in counteracting stress, you first need to understand a bit of the science behind what stress does to your body.

The stress response, also known as the Fight or Flight Response (FFR), is a very primitive response which helped cave men fight or flee from predators. It prepared the body for this by releasing stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol into the bloodstream. The body is then designed to go back to normal functioning once the predator has been dealt with.

Now in today’s world, you don’t fight these kinds of predators, however, your body reacts in the exact same way to ‘modern-day’ perceived predators – such as running late for work, being stuck in traffic, receiving an unexpected bill in the mail or receiving an unpleasant email. In most cases you can’t run or physically fight these ‘predators’ which means your body gets trapped in the stress response and doesn’t go back to normal functioning.

What effect does this have on your body?

Your body is only ever working towards two states – protection or growth. It can’t do both at the same time. When we are in the FFR, as the stress hormones get higher, your body goes into protection mode and it shuts off all non-essential systems in order to preserve your energy to fight or run, this includes the immune system. If you are constantly in this state, your immune system is never functioning to its full potential and you open yourself up to more illness and disease.

A stress response is only supposed to last about 90 seconds. You will have, on average, 50 stress responses a day, times that by 365 days a year, that is a lot of stress in a lifetime. This is why 99% of all illness and disease is stress related, only 1% is genetic. Which is a good thing, because something can be done about the stress. This is where meditation comes into its own.

Why meditate?

Meditation is scientifically proven to counteract the effects of stress. It disengages the FFR and elicits what we call the relaxation response.

Neuroscientists have researched the effects of meditation on the brain. Research has shown that consistent meditation rewires the brain by increasing the density of the areas responsible for concentration, self-awareness, compassion and memory.  Similarly, the areas of the brain associated with anxiety and stress decrease in density.

So why isn’t everyone meditating?

I feel the only barrier to meditation is people’s preconceived ideas about it.

If you have never tried meditation before or feel you struggle with it, here are a few things to keep in mind:

• You can’t do it wrong. Approach it with an open mind. You won’t feel any benefit with a closed mind.
• Expecting that meditation will be effective straight away is not a reasonable expectation. It’s called a meditation practice for a reason! It needs to be practiced regularly in order to notice the benefits across all areas of your life.
• It is not just for one type of person, it’s for everyone. There are literally hundreds of different meditation styles, there is a style to suit everyone, it’s just finding the one that works for you.
• The goal of meditation is not having an empty or still mind, you can’t stop the mind doing what it is naturally designed to do, which is think. Instead it’s about learning how to have control over those thoughts and only focus on what is happening in the present moment. One of the best ways to do this is to concentrate on your breathing. There is a wonderful app called Mind Bell where you can set a chime to go off on your phone at different intervals of the day. I set mine to go off every hour. The idea is when the chime sounds, you stop whatever it is you are doing and take three deep breaths. My kids love this app and it gets them involved as well as hold me accountable – when they hear the chime they yell ‘BREATHE MUM BREATHE!’.

What are some examples of different meditation styles?

As mentioned, there are many different styles of meditation, here are two that most people can do and are great ones to start with if you haven’t tried it before:

• Zen Meditation – the only meditation style suitable for all people. You can practice this almost anywhere at any time e.g. walking, in the shower. It is purely about paying attention to the present moment and using your five senses – what you can see, hear, touch, taste and smell.
• Guided Visualisation – possibly the most common form of meditation. Your imagination is sent on a journey with the purpose of achieving healing and realisations through focused thought and reflection. There are some wonderful apps for this. My app of choice is Insight Timer which has over 24, 000 different meditations, and it’s FREE.

What about busy parents?

Now I can appreciate that busy parents may find it hard to find even 5 mins to meditate, especially when you can’t even go to the bathroom on your own, but here are some things that I found worked well to stay motivated and build a consistent practice.

• Start small to build your ‘meditation muscle’. Try it daily for a month – 5 mins every day to start with if you find it challenging and then try working your way up to 20 mins a day.
• Consider time of day – get up before everyone else in the morning or alternatively last thing at night because it really helps with restless sleep. Do it in the shower even. But try and do it the same time everyday so you can really establish a solid practice.
• If you have the space in your home create a space for your practice where the busyness stops. Have a comfortable pillow, a candle, some crystals, some nice music and an object you can focus on to stop the mind wandering.
• If all else fails and you are trying desperately to find 5 mins to yourself, include the kids in your practice. There is nothing wrong with helping them understand and respect why this time is important for you, but it also helps them understand how it benefits them as well. I think this is a sensational coping tool for kids and if they learn it while they are young, we are going to have less anxious and burnt out kids as they move through school.

Meditation styles you can do with the kids

• Body Scan – start at your toes and work your way up to the top of your head bringing awareness to the parts where you are holding tension and relaxing those muscles. This works a treat for my 13-year-old who struggles a little with anxiety.
• Movement Meditation – Move to music. I do this in the kitchen. It’s not always met with enthusiasm from my children because mum is so uncool but when they see the fun, I have with it they end up joining in, which is great because it teaches them to let go and not be so self-conscious.
• Loving Kindness – this is my personal favourite. I mention this in my book and have a script for it in the back, but this is a beautiful meditation to do in those moments when you are perhaps not feeling very loving. It’s about sending love and kindness out to people you love as well as people who challenge you and it teaches you that everyone is worthy of love and kindness. This is a very beautiful concept to teach our children as well.

If you want to know more about meditation or would like to get a small group together to learn about the benefits and do a meditation class, please contact me to arrange a day and time.